The Elephant Room Round 2: Quote Dump

Okay, so I said I would write individual posts for each quote that I wrote down from The Elephant Room....but, to be honest, I'm tired of writing about it and want to blog about other things. So I'm going to dump all the rest of the quotes into this post and be done with it. Here you go:

In reference to "doing church," T.D. Jakes said, "We keep trying to formalize that which isn't a formula."  People can get so hung up on the order and ritual of how to do a church service that they lose focus of what's important. It doesn't matter whether the offering is collected before or after the sermon. Worship can be accompanied by an organ or an electric guitar. There's not one "right" way to do church. I think God was smart to not say in the Bible how the first Christians conducted their services. The message always stays the same, but the mode of communicating it needs to adapt to speak to the culture. Mark Driscoll posed a poignant question: "If people meet Jesus, is there a wrong way to do that?" He also reminded the naysayers and nitpickers that "it's easier to be a critic than a pastor."

In a discussing leaders failing in the church, James MacDonald pointed out, "Fifty percent of leadership is self-management." As leaders, there is more at stake if one should fall, so there needs to be accountability sought out and submitted to. No man is an island. And those who fail are at fault and must take responsibility for their actions. But as T.D. Jakes noted, "We have not been taught to scream [ask for help]." Pastors and ministry leaders think they have to be perfect, as if to admit weakness were to be a failure....when all you're admitting to is that you're human! As I've written about before, I find that mindset ridiculous. Crawford Lorritts said, "Your identity is not your ministry." Any Christian's order of priorities (especially those in leadership) needs to be God first and foremost, followed by family, then your work (ministry related or not). He also pointed out that those who are owning up to failure must have the right heart behind the confession: "If they're concerned about their reputation, they're not repentant." But many leaders are afraid to admit their failures, because they worry about unforgiveness or retribution from those in their churches. As Mark Driscoll has stated before, "Hard words create soft people, soft words create hard people." If people are hearing the truth of the Bible--justice and mercy, that sin needs to be truly repented of and dealt with and forgiven--and seeing that faith lived out in their leaders, they will follow that path as well. Christians don't need to be perfect people, we need to be repentant people! We need to extend grace and hold people accountable. We must not enable sin, but we also don't want to make those who have failed afraid to repentant.

Loving communication within the church is so needed right now. Civility in our country and churches has been lost, and we all suffer for it. We demonize and shun those we don't agree with, turning it into a game of Us vs. Them. T.D. Jakes called that out: "We've got to learn to talk to each other, or we're going to die." The church doesn't need more division and strife. We've got to draw together and remember that we serve the same Jesus. Satan loves when Christians despise one another, because his work is already done. Jakes gave a good reminder, "If the leaders are loving the people will be as well." We can't let our preferences become our prejudices. Jack Graham encouraged reaching outside of our comfort zone and building friendships, "When I know you, I can love you." Some of the best and longest lasting relationships can be found in the most unexpected places. Crawford Lorritts shared wise advice he was given as a young man, "Don't let anybody tell you who your friends can be!"

And that last quote was my favorite for the day.

The Elephant Room Round 2: Church

I shared my initial impression about the Elephant Room Round 2 last week, and have had time to mull over the things that stuck out to me. I jotted down some pithy insights and great one liners from all the pastors that attended. I'm going to devote a blog to each quote and how it impacted me.

A bit of a caveat before I begin: I'm not going to nitpick or criticize--that has been done to death enough elsewhere on the interwebs. I don't need to pick at so-called theological fallacies or whatever. I'm going to focus on the positive and edifying things I learned and leave the negativity to others. Sure, I didn't agree with everything everyone said, but I'm not going to throw out the baby with the bath water. My goal is to expound on the truths that spoke to me personally. I stick with a micro focus on this blog, not a macro one. Write what you know, right? I know me and my heart and that's what I feel qualified to pontificate about. Anyways.

Pastor Jack Graham

Jack Graham caught me with this line during the first discussion about denominations:

"Most people don't show up looking for the Baptist church, the Methodist church. They show up looking for the Jesus church."

I feel like this hits squarely on the head something that has bothered me over the years. The argument over denominations and which one is "better" is a family issue. In that I mean, if you're not a Christian, it seems silly and can be rather confusing. To someone who's not a believer, Baptists and Lutherans look pretty much the same; telling them that one is better than the other is like telling a non-sports fan that the Vikings are better than the Packers. "They both wear spandex and play football. The only difference to me is one wears green and yellow and the other purple and yellow." If you're not part of the club, you just don't care. It's trying to teach someone Calculus before they've mastered Algebra. If the basics aren't covered, how on earth are you supposed to grasp consecutive issues?

And the debate about denominations shouldn't be the point. You don't invite someone to become an Episcopalian. Or accept Luther into their heart. Or pray to Calvin. To re-word what Graham said, people come to church looking for Jesus not theologians. First and foremost, church should be about Jesus. His love, his sacrifice for our sins, his death and resurrection. He is Lord, God, Savior, Healer, Comforter...Friend. Jesus said Christians are supposed to be known by our love. Not our debates. Not our theological differences. Not name calling and questioning others' faith. That at the end of the day, the body of Christ, the church, can lay aside our differences and be a family. In a family, you don't necessarily like each other all the time, you might snap and quarrel with each other....but underneath the temporary flared emotions, you are bound together and truly love each other. Just because one of my sisters says something I don't agree with doesn't mean she's not part of the family. I don't question whether my brother is truly related to me if he does something I wouldn't do. (I know that metaphor only goes so far, but if someone says they believe Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, and are working to live out their faith, there's room for disagreement on open handed issues)

My best friend is Lutheran and I lean towards Baptist, I guess, though I was raised in a non-denominational church. We both call ourselves Christian and love Jesus. If we're going to talk about our faith to a non-believer, Jesus and his love gets top billing. Just writing this post has been a good reminder for me to keep my focus on Jesus first and not secondary, lesser issues.

The Elephant Room Round 2: Initial thoughts

Nice logo design by the way.

I was at Grace Church of Eden Prairie for the majority of the day today, watching a live simulcast of The Elephant Room Round 2. I'm so glad I took the day off from work and went, because it was so edifying. I was surprised, convicted, encouraged. I jotted down so many amazing quotes from all the speakers, but especially T.D. Jakes. I actually went because I listen to Mark Driscoll's sermons regularly, but T.D. Jakes is the one who really made me think today. Man, does that guy have a lot of insight and wisdom! He throws out these one liners that encapsulate what would take another preacher paragraphs. I really hadn't heard him speak before, beyond seeing him briefly on TBN when channel flipping. He just blew my mind with the truth he spoke. It's not like it was anything new to me, but just the way he worded it made me see things in a new light.

Bishop T.D. Jakes pwned it today.

One of his quotes that stuck out to me the most was when he was discussing race and segregation in the church: "You can't integrate the church until you've integrated your heart." I mean, just think about that. It gets right to the crux of the issue--it's not about out there, what we need to do as a church or culture...it starts with one person: me and the state of my heart. Convicting and encouraging: I can't point fingers, I have to work on myself, but at the same time, all I have to worry about is one person and not what everybody else is thinking and doing.

And that's just from ONE sentence from one of the seven pastors that participated! There's so much that I took in today, I'm going to have to let it marinate for a few days and process it all. I'm going to break my thoughts into multiple blogs, because there was so much I gleaned from this conference. I jotted down a lot of great quotes, which I will use as a spring board to further the discussion I got to listen to today. And I'm sure they'll be posting video clips again this year, so I'll try to find those to share with you as well.

The biggest thing I took away from The Elephant Room, beyond all the different issues and questions, is that as Christians we need to be able to sit down together and discuss issues that we disagree on and still love each other at the end of it. If Mark Driscoll and T.D. Jakes can debate and learn from each other, the rest of us can too.

Theology actually matters

There's a great sermon series
that goes along with the book.

I've been reading my way through Doctrine by Mark Driscoll in bits and pieces over the last year, and my mind has been blown.

I'm not one for theological arguments and arguing over ridiculous Biblical ephemera that doesn't matter. Before reading Doctrine, I had pretty written off theology as boring and really not applicable to my life. I went to Northwestern College and had to take Christian Theology one semester; it was one of the most mind numbingly dull classes I ever sat through during college. The professor was dry, boring, listing off facts in a monotone, and wouldn't give a straight answer to save your live. I studied for the tests and promptly forgot pretty everything once I was done, because it didn't matter. Lists of big words and their paragraphs of definitions, long dead theologians, Biblical nitpicking that just came across as silly....none of it made any kind of impact on me. It was dull. It was boring. It was empty. Just academic knowledge for my head that did nothing for my heart.

I love Jesus Christ. I believe he was and is fully God and fully man, the second member of the Trinity, which also includes God the Father and the Holy Spirit. Jesus came into the world to live and to die for all of humanity's sin. He lived a perfect life, died a death he didn't deserve, and rose again three days later. His death paid the price for our evil and wickedness, leaving us humans righteous and pure before God. Jesus wasn't just a "good man" or a nice teacher or a hippie, He is God. He now sits at the right hand of God the Father in Heaven, and one day will return in glory to pass judgement and create Heaven and earth anew. In the meantime, those of us who  follow Jesus as Lord and Savior, try to live our lives like His, struggling and failing a lot, yet also finding great joy in striving to be more like Christ.

Seems pretty simple to me. I wasn't interested in what I saw as theological nitpicking and thought that "Theology" was for academic scholars with too much time on their hands. It just didn't matter to me, and seemed out of reach and over my head. Words like "theology" and "doctrine" didn't seem to have a place in the real world of actually living life. I've met many people who have their heads stuffed full of terms and definitions, who could make your head spin with all the Biblical facts they know....but it doesn't affect their hearts. They are arrogant, condescending, prideful, more concerned with what they know than what they actually do with that knowledge. They'd rather debate until they're blue in the face than, you know, serve in a food shelter or something. They don't have time for that, they're too busy doing exegetical studies from the original Greek!

To be fair, I have met a smaller amount of people who are very wise and knowledgeable and put into practice what they believe. They go deep in studying which really makes their faith bloom and thrive. They suck up Bible knowledge like a sponge, not just talk about it endlessly, but to live it out. Learning and applicability go hand-in-hand for them. But these kinds of people, in my experience, tend to be in the minority.

Over the last few years, I've been consistently listening to Mark Driscoll's sermons. I'm so thankful that Mars Hill Church posts so much excellent content online for free. I have learned more about Jesus and what it means to follow him in the last two years than I did during my whole time at Northwestern. Nobody is perfect and I don't agree with everything Mark teaches, but so much of his preaching has enriched and deepened my faith. Theological terms are interwoven into his sermons so seamlessly. Doctrinal issues that I would have dismissed or never bothered learning about, he's made understandable and applicable. And that's the key thing: Applicability in daily life. Simple definitions that aren't dumbed down but made understandable. I don't need pages and pages of theological gobbledygook if one good sentence will do. I don't need to know why God is love or who He loves or what His love is like or what "love" means in the original Greek....at the end of the day, I just need to know and truly believe that God loves me.

I've come to realize that learning some doctrine can further my faith, deepen it in unexpected ways. "Theology" doesn't have to be this loaded, scary word. It means "the study of God and God's relation to the world." Okay, I get that. Learning more about God, who He is and what He's like? Yes, I want to know that. I want to know more about this God I follow and strive to be more like. Kinda hard to become like someone if you don't know who they are, right? Like getting to know a friend, that's how I want my relationship with Jesus to be like. Not stuffing my head full of facts about His attributes or memorizing endless definitions, I want to know Him personally.

So, reading Doctrine has been an eye-opening journey for me. The authors (Gerry Breshears helped co-write) always bring it back to Jesus. Every definition and issue comes back to knowing Jesus more fully. Every chapter is about revealing more of who God is and how He relates to us. Things that I have always believed but never been able to articulate are summed up concisely and memorably. Mark writes the way he speaks: simple, powerful, applicable. Issues that I have struggled over in the past suddenly make sense. Oh, okay, I get it now! It's like a lightbulb has come on for me. I understand why every church needs to do communion. Why a believer should be baptized. And that different ways of doing them are okay as long as you understand why you're doing it in the first place: it's all about Jesus. It's not that we have to do something, another check mark on our religious to-do list, it's that we get to do it for Him, out of joy and thanksgiving for what He's done.

I've learned that knowledge of church history and those Christians who have come before can deepen my faith, furthering my relationship with God. Knowing big words, not to stuff my head and get puffed up with knowledge, but to expand my heart. Justification, propitiation, expiation, atonement....the reason to learn what they all mean is to know Jesus better. Not to argue endlessly, going in circles, but to love better, live fuller, believe more fully. It's not about what I know, but Who God is and what He's done for me. Thank you, Pastor Mark, for making these things come alive for me!

So, yes, I've come to realize, theology matters, because it helps me connect with Christ in a real way.

I like Jesus...but not all his followers

"My own feeling...is that I would probably get along ok with Jesus himself if I met him, but some of his followers really don't get what he was trying to say."

This just...struck me...in such a deep place. Read it again, and mull over it a little bit.

I'm commissioning a piece from an artist on Etsy, who happens to be a practicing Pagan. This is a quote from her in an online conversation we're having to iron out the details of the commission. She was very upfront with me about her beliefs, which I appreciate and respect. And I've been just as open about my faith and what it means to me. 

And that's so rare. Why is that we're not supposed to talk about faith, the beliefs that we hold so deep and direct our lives? As if, somehow, we can't handle hearing that someone has *gasp!* a different worldview than we do? Like I'm suddenly going to lose my faith in Jesus, because someone told me they hold a very different set of beliefs than I do? I look at interactions like this to spur me on to question and challenge myself. Do I really believe what I say I do?

I was going to post on something else tonight, but when I read that sentence, I had to write something about it. Because it's so true. And I'm guilty of falling short of living like Jesus far too often. Sure, it's easy to point fingers, and rant about how horrible American Christianity can be, how materialistic / silly / wrong / shallow /whatever the church is....but, at the end of the day, I am the church, the body of Christ. We tend to focus on the church as corporate, many people, a group, denominations....but it's made up of a bunch of individuals. Me. You. We become Us and Them when we're gathered together on Sundays and at other events. But in our daily lives, it tends to be just me...you...going about everyday activities in our own little worlds. Making small decisions, here and there, that add up to who I am as a person. 

And is that a woman who loves Jesus? Not in word, because I say I do...but truly, actually in how I live my life, day in and day out? Does my life display what I say I believe? Do I understand who Jesus was and is, and how he said I should live my life if I follow him? Do I "get" what he was trying to say to us silly, lost people? 

"Pick up your cross and follow me....whoever loses his life will find it....blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth....you cannot serve God and money....unless you become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Do we really get him?! I mean, so many people try to pin their own agendas onto their version of Jesus, twisting what he said to fit their bullet points. Do I change to fit what he said? It's a challenge to be a Christ follower; it takes sacrifice. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. It's not easy to become like Christ.

I want to "get" him, I really do. But my faith can be so lacking. 

God, give me strength to be like you, because on my own, I will fail. Open my eyes to see, my mind to understand, my heart to soften. Help me to be like you, not just in what I say, but in what I do, who I am.

A beginning?

Last night was a good night. God spoke to me and through me, and I feel like a new chapter in my life has begun. The seeds of...something just starting to bud.

It started out inauspiciously, as most days do: I worked 9am-5pm, a long tiring shift. I really don't like working Sundays. It doesn't matter that I get other days off in a week--if I have to work Sunday I just don't feel as rested. It's firmly cemented in my subconscious as the day to rest. Sunday is for getting up slowly, reading some of the paper with a mug of steaming chai tea in hand, then heading over to church, then home again for more newspaper reading and hanging out with family and just being. Anyways, my church had an evening service last night due to Thanksgiving. I was debating about going, because I was tired and sore after work. My right knee has been aching this week, and I just feel very worn out. But I usually get to go to Sunday services only twice a month because of my work schedule, so I went.

I drove over there half an hour early, because my favorite restaurant, the Wilde Roast Cafe, is about three blocks south of where my church meets. I usually don't walk that far without my leg braces, but I really, really like Wilde Roast's chai tea. It was a perfect cool, crisp evening in Northeast Minneapolis: no wind, the stars peeking through the scattered clouds, and the city....oh, that skyline! As a city girl, I love my skyline, especially at night. Downtown Minneapolis has a lot of skyscrapers that are mostly wrapped in glass. It glitters and shimmers like a jewel after the sun goes down. It was unusually quiet last night as I walked. The rhythm of my boots hitting the sidewalk and the distant ever present sound of the highway were all that I heard. It was glorious to be honest. There were a few people here and there ahead of me, but pretty much it was just me and the city. It has a song, you know. On night's like that you can really hear the city sing. To me, it's beautiful. I got my chai tea and headed back. I was walking along St. Anthony Main,which has this old world feel to it, with uneven cobblestone sidewalks. I looked up this stairway that leads up the hill...and there was an old church all lit up, its stained glass windows shining out into the night. It was just perfect. "Thank you, God." He knows me so well--I'm easily pleased with little moments like that. And again, no one else was about. I was already glad I'd decided to come to church. It was quiet and beautiful....and expectant. It's hard to explain, but I feel God's presence in moments like that. Not like I could reach out and touch Him, but just that He's there; and I know He orchestrated that particular instance for me because it gave me such quiet joy. I was ready for church after my brisk walk and warm drink.

And church was amazing. It was a special Thanksgiving service, so no sermon, just worship music and an open mic for people to share about God's goodness in their lives. There was a little thing off to the side for people to write down an "Ebenezer," which means "stone of help or testimony," a memorial to what God has done. As soon as I heard that, I felt God poking me to get up and speak.

Over the last few months, I've been having "stone of testimony" be brought up by different sources that are completely unrelated to each other. When that happens, I listen, because obviously, God's trying to get something through to me. I feel like He's telling me to stop living in fear and be bold, to speak out about what He's done in my life. It started when I wrote the full story of my wings to a pen pal friend, then I felt convicted to share that story so publicly on this blog. And last night, I felt I had to share some of that testimony at church. I really don't like public speaking, by the way. I literally tremble when I'm standing in front of others like that. So I sat and fidgeted in my chair, my heart in my throat, knowing I had to get up, walk to the front and turn and face the crowd...and speak. I sat through others' stories and was the last one to share. I couldn't not do it. I was compelled, though my heart was beating like crazy.

My mind had been spinning, trying to figure out the right words, to make it pretty and polished. I mentally hushed myself as I stood. If God wanted me to speak, He would give me the words to say. And so I shared about how God has been teaching me about stones of testimony recently, that when He brings the same message from different sources, I need to listen and obey what I hear. I said I'm thankful for freedom, that Christ has redeemed and saved me from darkness.I gave a brief background on my wings and how I am a living stone of testimony to God's goodness.
I was open, vulnerable, honest; my body shook and I thought my voice trembled. I had to rest my free hand on the podium, because it was shaking so badly. I spoke briefly of being abused and the darkness and isolation that I felt. How hard it is to speak of it, because the devil wants us to think we're alone and no one else would want to know, that they would be disgusted. The shame, guilt, fear and self loathing that overwhelm and isolate. The thought that, "No one can know, it's too dark, too disgusting....too shameful. I feel unclean and unworthy." But I said that God doesn't want me to live in fear anymore. He was redeemed me, walking into my darkness and not leaving me there. He wants to me to be bold and speak of what He has done in my life. That without Him, His goodness and mercy, I would be bereft and broken. I know goodness and light because I have experienced evil and darkness. I can say God IS GOOD from experience not sappy naivete. Life is not a Thomas Kinkade painting, I know that...but there is still good to be found, it's just not the "everything is always kittens and rainbows" kind. It's goodness forged like gold refined through fire.

I spoke for a few minutes, then walked back to my seat and sat down. After the service, I had multiple people come up to me and thank me for sharing. I had a few really good conversations, with the possibility of forging some deeper connections. I've been attending this church off and on since this summer...but something changed last night. I'm not an outsider anymore. I mean, I didn't feel excluded at all before...but there was an irrevocable change, a forging of....something. I'm not quite sure yet, but it feels like a beginning to something good. I mentioned to Hannah after I got home last night, that it feels like a new chapter in my life is getting underway, that there's promise of something deeper and challenging (in a good way) coming my way. We shall have to see where this story leads.

I despise cookie cutter Christianity

A while back I heard that Brio Magazine folded. And I was so happy to find that out. Let me explain why. As someone who grew up in fairly conservative Christian circles, Brio was the magazine to read if you were a girl. And I hated it. Sure, it had some good things to say, but the overall focus was modesty and purity. Like that is the most important part of being a Christian girl apparently. Actually, it was more MODESTY and PURITY!!! As if the pit of Hell would open up under you if your belly button ever saw the light of day or you wore *gasp!* spaghetti strap tank tops. Because that is the definition of a good Christian girl for some: you're modest and pure. That's it. As in the rest of our culture, it's all about the outward appearance, albeit with a different focus. Instead of pushing how sexy you can go, it's how covered can you get without dying of heat exhaustion?

We match our curtains!

There is definitely worse out there,
but I want to keep this family friendly

Brio was predominantly pink and shades thereof. It was as sweet and saccharine as cotton candy dipped in honey. "Oh, surely you exaggerate, Elisabeth." Exhibit A, ladies and gentlemen.

I rest my case

Here's the thing, I'm no hater. I'm a Christian, I love Jesus, I think His followers should be different from the surrounding culture. Teen fashion magazines in general are waaaay too sexualized, yet still offer some sage advice. I would love to see a teen magazine that bridges the gap between being culturally relevant and encouraging and nurturing a deep, vibrant, active faith. Brio was not that, in my opinion. It was sugary, sappy, fluffy christianity-lite. It tried to be too many things poorly. And don't get me started on the much hyped Brio And Beyond. It was supposed to cover deeper issues and such for older teen girls. The cover was different...and it literally had one extra article, otherwise all the content was the same. 

My sisters and I preferred to read Breakaway, which was aimed at boys. The difference alone in the covers tells you quite a bit. If you Google "Brio Covers" you see multiple images of smiling girls not really doing a whole lot of anything. However "Breakaway Magazine Covers" returns very different results, generally action shots of males doing something. (The passive vs. active imagery is a great commentary on how girls and boys are "supposed to behave," but that's another post in itself). Breakaway would actually cover tough, relevant teen issues, like cutting or addiction to porn or suicide. Matters of the heart and soul were well represented in addition to outward appearance (they had an ongoing section on exercise routines).

I'm weird, I know that--I've always had a desire to "go deep," striking out for the deeper waters of faith and thought rather than wading in the shallows of superficiality. But surely I can't be the only one who chafes against this portrayal of "feminine" Christianity? I wear skinny jeans, tank tops, jewelry, makeup (when the mood strikes)...but I also love long flowy skirts, peasant shirts and leaving my face au natural. 

My sisters and I are the prime example for not trying to lump Christian girls into one box:

Leah working security at Sonshine

Hannah surfing

Me in my Ren Fest best

We all love Jesus, yet we each follow Him in our own way. We don't follow what others say we should be, but what the Bible says a righteous Christian is. And it don't say nothing about wearing frumpy clothes and pretending like we don't have a brain.

At the end of the day, my point is not that I hate Christian publications (I don't), or that I never wear pink (I do), or that Christianity is stupid (it's not). It's just to call out that overemphasis on outward appearance and external actions for girls I've seen in the Christian circles I've run in growing up. We need to find that healthy middle ground and not swing to either extreme as we live out being women who love Jesus.